Seeing an aging man with a young woman never seems to raise eyebrows, but when it comes to older women dating younger men, people start to get overly concerned. However, according to a recent poll, one-third of women in the forty to sixty-nine year old age group will date younger men. In this instance this is deemed to be ten years plus younger than them. Another poll showed that women in their fifties, about one sixth of them to be exact, preferred to date men in their forties.
The reason for this phenomenon, which seems to have taken off in the last couple of decades, is not the obvious one. Those who want to put some kind of sleazy connotation on this occurrence which is becoming more common will say it is the stamina of the male which is enticing women to cross a barrier that was once thought of as taboo. However, women in this kind of relationship will say it is the sense of spontaneity and adventure which they find so enticing.
Reasoning Behind This Idea.
Women tend to have a lot of responsibilities when they are younger. They may have brought up their children and grown tired of being married to the same man. Or, they could well have chosen a career over the normal ‘get married and have children’ traditions that our mothers went through. Either way, women today tend to be far more forthright and demanding when it comes to their own relationships.
In the past, women usually depended on the man to be the breadwinner and this in itself tied them to the home. However, in the past few decades, women have learned to juggle these roles so that they could bring their own salaries home. This has made them far more independent than before and, as such, it has also given them a say in what they do with their lives.
Health wise too, women are now far more concerned about staying healthy and fit which not only helps them to look younger, it also helps them to live longer than men in general.
In this modern age too, women are no longer looking for that knight in shining armour to come and lift them out of their mundane lives. Rather, they are making their own decisions and doing what feels good regardless of what anyone else says.
With the advent of more strident women comes the phenomenon of a house husband as well. He may well have a lesser career so it makes good sense for him to be the one staying in the home instead of her.
What Do Younger Men See?
Of course, younger men have been known to look for age mates, or younger women, to set up home with and produce their children. However, these days, there is a breed of man, that finds a successful or confidant woman is the ultimate prize. If she is ten or twenty years older than him, who cares really? Only society of course but, if the couple wants to, they can date each other freely without thought of the outside world.
Men too are like the younger women who look for older and more affluent men. Having a woman who is already successful will mean that they do not have to try so hard to impress. Nor is the necessity to cater for all her whims so important. The older woman has usually become used to dealing with her own expenses, her own needs and decisions where a career is involved. If he does not meet her needs, she is likely to move on without too many problems.
Myths About Dating the Older Woman.
It is very natural for people to assume that once the younger man has had his fill of the older woman, he will find himself a younger woman to have a relationship with. This advice, normally given to older women dating younger men, is not strictly true. What would be nearer to the truth is that the man wants to have children and the woman may be too old for this.
Another myth is that the older woman dating a younger man is the aggressor when it came to the first meeting. In most cases, it is always the younger man who makes the first move. Studies showed that after two hundred couples were interviewed, it was always the man who came on strong.
Couples where the December-May relationship occurred have often been told that it just could not last. However, the average length of a relationship of this kind was around thirteen years which is longer than some more traditional marriages last these days.
When an older woman dates a younger man, the children aspect for him is obviously an important factor, as noted above. However, some psychologists have suggested that the couple could have a lovely life together until the woman dies. When the man finds himself alone then, he could choose a younger woman to have the children that he wanted all his life. Because of his genetic make up, there is really no cut off point for children so this could suit them both perfectly.
To get into this kind of thing, there are many online dating sites now and one like intergenerationaldating.net, or dateolderwomen.com cater specifically for older women dating younger men or vice versa.
Things Which Work.
For the older female, it is easier for her to choose a young mate as long as he fulfills certain criteria. For example, if she is looking for something very casual, his maturity level will not matter. However, if she is looking for something a little longer lasting, he has to have some level of maturity if he is to keep up with her lifestyle. Having someone who is simply not responsible will surely break the relationship very fast if she has to become the ‘mother’ in the relationship.
His spontaneity will also appeal to her to some extent and it is this on its own which can sometimes attract the woman to him. However, it is important that the couple have a serious talk about where they expect the relationship to go, whether it is casual or serious for example, so both are not under any false hopes that there is more here than meets the eye.
Energy levels also play a part in any relationship too so if one wants to party all night while the other likes a quiet read at home, this can be a recipe for disaster. As long as they are roughly in the same ball park when it comes to going out, this could well be a long-lasting relationship for sure.
Important To Remember.
Many women make the mistake of taking over all financial responsibility and decision-making in the relationship. If she is affluent and she does not mind paying for everything, or if he does not mind her doing this, then they can both relax. However, if he wants her to take over while he still plays around, then this is also a recipe for disaster.
This is why communication is so important, especially in the case of older women dating younger men, before the couple move in together or make things permanent.